inamerrata

Have you ever found yourself reading slashdot (what? you don’t read slashdot? well, play along) and coming across a banner ad (what? you block ads? well, play along) for the nth time and finally just, you know, snapping?

Sadly, today it happened to me. To the tune of a ditty by Salt n’ Pepa at that.

Let’s Talk About ‘Nix

(Yo, I don’t think they’re going to aggregate this on the planet;
And why not? Everybody hates ‘doze.
I mean everybody should be codin’ perl!
C’mon, how many guys you know codin’ perl?)

(Punch it, Fink!)

Come on!

Chorus:
Let’s talk about ‘nix, baby
Let’s talk about gcc,
Let’s talk about all the GNU things,
And the FUD things that we see,
Let’s talk about ‘nix…
Let’s talk about ‘nix!

Let’s talk about ‘nix for now,
To the people at home or in the crowd,
It keeps comin’ up anyhow.
Don’t decoy, avoid or make void the topic,
Coz that ain’t gunna stop it!

Now we talk about ‘nix on the web and on the audio casts,
Everyone blasts, throwin’ out LARTs,
But we’ll tell it like it is, and how it could be —
How it was, and of course how it should be!

Those who think it’s boring, use your mice,
Shut down your browser, change sites,
Or break your internet link —
Will that stop us, Fink? I doubt it!
All right then! Come on, spin!

(Chorus)

Hot to slot, make any rack’s breaker pop,
They use what they got, to fake whatever they don’t got,
Admin’s drool but then again they’re only human,
These blades are a hit, and the market is boomin’.
Java, C, Pascal, crazy Fortran,
Nothing they run is ever dawdlin’!

Their fate: eliminate wait, actin’ in haste,
Genomes, finance, nothin is too great for these,
To be tasked, they’ll even surpass,
In a blur, they purr, you infer the gist.
And believe me you, it’s as good as true:
There just ain’t a job around that these beasties can’t do.

They’ve got it all in the bag, so they oughta be glad
But they’re mad and sad and feelin’ bad
Thinkin’ ’bout the kernel they never had.
No ‘nix, just ‘doze, followed next with a crack and a patch,
That new box is pwned… (pwned, pwned, pwned)

Take it easy…

(Chorus)